


Haunted

by Amberina



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-22
Updated: 2003-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-23 04:26:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberina/pseuds/Amberina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He comes to you when the house is silent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted

Let me speak quietly  
So your heart can hear  
I will hypnotize and mesmerize you  
With the sound of your own fear

He comes to you when the house is silent, Dawn long asleep, your mother as well. He comes to you in your dreams and it feels so real, the blood and the sweat and the cum, its still there when you wake up. He comes to you in your dreams, but it is so far from being a dream.

You can feel his tongue so cold, sliding across your skin. You can feel his unneeded breath against your ear as he whispers that you're his 'one true girl.' And when he makes you bleed (he always does) you feel the scraping of his nails, of his teeth, and the darkness is so thick around you. And you'd scream, but no one can hear you in your dreams.

And you want him, because he's - your fallen Angel, the one you've always loved, will always love, and he does things to you that hurt you and it's all the same. Angel, or fallen Angel, they both make you hurt. Fallen Angel is just more straight-forward about it as he makes you come with a painful gasp.

You're sure he's stealing your soul, and you think that it makes sense, for your soul belongs to him anyway. So it's not stealing, it's taking what is rightfully his. In any case, you're sure your soul is on the outs, and you're sure he has it. You're not sure if that means he has a soul, or if someone else's soul can replace one's own.

These are the things you think as his teeth scrape against your nipple.

You cry sometimes, when the dreams are over, when you wake up, and you're sore in the most private of places, and your own blood is caked on your leg, things you don't even want to think about mixed in there, and the dream still hangs over you like a veil between you and the world. You cry, heavy sobs shaking your body, and you're so frail, you really are, for all of your supposed strength.

You're addicted to him. As long as he touches you, as long as you can be in his arms, as long as you can get your fix, then you will allow him. As long as he still looks like your Angel, as long as his voice still whispers words of forever that make your heart swell, he can do anything to you. And you'll let him.

You sometimes think of Riley, and sometimes you think of how fucked up you must be, because honestly - you like being with Angelus (or is it Angel? the distinction is fading) more than him. You still love Angel, even when he makes you bleed. He sends excruciating pain through your body and it gets you off faster than Riley's loving touch ever could. And you'd cry more, but by now you're out of tears.

You wonder sometimes if he'll kill you one of these nights. You're not sure how you feel about that. You don't like to think about what that says about you. What any of this says about you.

But when night comes, you aren't afraid, you welcome it and drift off to a sleep where you're haunted by a shadow of what once was, of what you would die for, kill for, and it's enough to keep you hanging on. To have Angel (it's Angelus, or at least you think it is, but what does it really matter?) touching you again.

You're haunted by your Angel, your heart, your soul, your everything still. And you're ashamed, and you're sick at yourself, but you still go to sleep every night waiting for him to come to you, waiting for him to hurt you. Waiting for him to kill you. Waiting for him to love you again.


End file.
